Once upon a time, getting ready meant carefully choosing an outfit, fixing hair, maybe even swiping on some mascara. Now? Well, it’s catching a reflection in the microwave at 2pm and realizing that not only is there baby food in the hair, but the shirt’s been inside out all day (okay, it’s not always like that, but there are some days where it happens to be like that).

No one warns about this part, the slow fade of the person who existed before kids. It’s not just exhaustion or the endless snack negotiations. It’s looking in the mirror and wondering where that confident, put-together person disappeared to. But here’s the truth: that person is still in there.

They’re just buried under a pile of laundry and need a little help crawling back out. You just need some help with self care, and sometimes, it needs to be forced.

Stealing Time Back

Every article on self-care says the same thing: “Make time for yourself!” But here’s the problem, kids do not care. They will find a way to interrupt even the most sacred moments (like using the bathroom or taking a five-minute shower). Instead of waiting for a quiet, stress-free hour that will never come, steal time like a criminal mastermind. Drink coffee alone before the chaos starts, claim the long grocery run as a solo mission, or take an extra five minutes in the car before walking inside. Every little moment of “just for me” adds up.

And no, scrolling through social media while hiding in the bathroom doesn’t count.

Rediscovering Passions that Aren’t Watching Paw Patrol

Remember hobbies? Those things that used to exist before life was a constant loop of meal prepping and figuring out why everything in the house smelled like fruit snacks. Well, they still matter.

Maybe it’s painting, maybe it’s dancing, maybe it’s reading something that doesn’t involve cartoon animals. If old passions don’t spark excitement anymore, find new ones. Pottery, Pilates, learning how to make the perfect iced latte, whatever feels good. Ideally, it doesn’t involve parenting.

There’s the Body Situation

Needless to say, bodies change after kids. There’s no sugarcoating it. Things shift, stretch, and settle in new ways. And while every motivational quote says to “love the skin you’re in,” sometimes, that’s easier said than done. Yeah, you should, you created another human, which is so amazing, but again, it can be hard to feel like yourself days, months, and even years after.

But confidence doesn’t mean pretending to adore every change, it means feeling good again, in whatever way that looks like. That could be treating yourself to a wardrobe that actually fits instead of hoping pre-baby jeans will magically button again. It could be prioritizing skincare, getting a fresh haircut, or even considering a mommy makeover to restore confidence. But overall, wanting to feel good in the mirror isn’t shallow. It’s human.

Making Friends Who Don’t Need Diaper Changes

Friendships after kids can get…weird. You probably already experienced this yourself, but some fade, some grow stronger, and some revolve entirely around nap schedules. It’s easy to get stuck in a bubble where every conversation is about teething, sleep regressions, or which brand of baby wipes is superior.

But adult conversations that don’t involve parenting? Those are gold. Be it something like reconnecting with old friends, joining a new club, or chatting up another exhausted parent at the park, socializing needs to happen.